Some work Lessons by Keyur Thakkar...

If you want to look good in front of your boss, we have some lessons for you. Following these shall not guarantee you to get anything extra, but might end up impressing someone. The lessons are collected and compiled by Vani Patel (who is excellent fashion designer and a Software Executive) which is inspired by our own "Vadil" (Elder) in B'lore House, Keyur Thakkar (The most busiest person in town, after CM). I am becoming the medium for them to express their feelings.


Lesson 1:
Never walk down the hall without a document in your hands. People with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees heading for important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like they're heading for the cafeteria.

People with the newspaper in their hands look like they're heading for the bathroom. Above all, make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus generating the false impression that you work longer hours than you do.

Lesson 2:
Use computers to look busy. Any time you use a computer, it looks like work to the casual observer. You can send and receive personal e-mail, calculate your finances and generally have a blast without doing anything remotely related to work.

These aren't exactly the societal benefits that everybody from the computer revolution expected but they're not bad either. When you get caught by your boss--and you will get caught--your best defense is to claim you're teaching yourself to use the new software, thus saving valuable training dollars.

You're not a loafer, you're a self-starter. Offer to show your boss what you learned. That will make your boss scurry away like a frightened salamander.


Lesson 3:
Messy desk. Top management can get away with a clean desk. For the rest of us, it looks like you're not working hard enough. Build huge piles of documents around your workspace.

To the observer, last year's work looks the same as today's work; it's volume that counts. Pile them high and wide. If you know somebody is coming to your cubicle, bury the document you'll need halfway down in an existing stack and rummage for it when he/she arrives.


Lesson 4:
Voice mail. Never answer your phone if you have voice mail. People don't call you just because they want to give you something for nothing-- they call because they want YOU to do work for THEM. That's the way to live. Screen all your calls through voice mail.

If somebody leaves a voice mail message for you and it sounds like impending work, respond during lunch hour. That way, you're hardworking and conscientious even though you're being a devious weasel. If you diligently employ the method of screening incoming calls and then returning calls when nobody is there, this will greatly increase the odds that they will give up or look for a solution that doesn't involve you.

The sweetest voice mail message you can ever hear is "Ignore my last message. I took care of it." If your voice mailbox has a limit on the number of messages it can hold, make sure you reach that limit frequently. One way to do that is to never erase any incoming messages. If that takes too long, send yourself a few messages.

Your callers will hear a recorded message that says, "Sorry, this mailbox is full"--a sure sign that you are a hardworking employee in high demand.

Appraisals - Fit in wrong curve

I am a student of a leading business school in India and we have the best in class professors to teach us things. Currently I am studying an important subject for organization, i.e. Human Resource Management. While studying that, I came across one topic called “Appraisal”.

I have been an employee of one of the major IT Service Company in India. During my working time, I went through my appraisals. And at that time I heard a new term, “Curve Fitting” for appraisals. I think this was one of the way companies are doing appraisals and this may not apply to other sectors.

The process of appraisal was something like this. Initially person has to do “self appraisal” and then his assessor will do his appraisal and give him a rating. Reviewer will also confirm it. We were given 5 point grade according to our performance in previous year.

Now interesting thing comes here is after everything is done and results are sent to HR person for rest of the things, HR person changes the rating. And that change is obviously on the negative side. The reason was given as it was because of curve fitting and due to that everybody’s grade might get affected. At that time I did not take care of these things as I was getting top rating and also was into lot of work. But now while studying things about HR management, now I am getting what was happening.

Let us go to the basics first. Now in the image below, you can see three types of distributions.

• Normal - Where maximum density is in the middle and low at the ends
• Positively Skewed - where more density is at the left hand side and low on right hand side
• Negatively Skewed - where more density is at the right hand side and low on left hand side

Now in the normal distribution, as we can see from appraisal point of view, maximum (around 60%) people will be at the middle. That means maximum people will be having average performance and few (around 10%) will get higher grade.

So companies will try to fit the performance grades of employees in to this curve by changing the grade of the people. By changing the grade, they made most of the employees “average” employees.

If we see from company’s point of view, it wants to have best employees and wants them to perform better. Also they want to retain only those people who have above average performance (if not all, most of them).

Then, my question is, why they give less while expecting more? Isn't it fair to have a negatively skewed curve than normal curve when more people are performing better? In that case good performers will get more. But they are not doing this; and the only reason I could get is, they want to maximize their profit (for growth and other things) even though that profit has come by the hard work of the employees only.

Now you have to decide whether it is right or wrong. You are free to put your comments.